Zune’s mobile DJs. 4500-mile neighborhood watch program. Microsoft ventures into teledildonics

by David Spark on August 28, 2006

Microsoft’s soon-to-be-released and hopeful iPod killer, the Zune player, is set to turn users into mobile DJs. The new media player with built-in Wi-Fi will let users stream music to up to four people. This is not yet confirmed, but Microsoft has confirmed that Toshiba, the manufacturer of the device, has filed a license to be able to do this with the FCC.

Late last week an Internet user in Dallas, Texas caught a gang of thieves in Liverpool, England by watching a webcam. While watching he happen to witness some crooks break into a store. Quickly he called the Merseyside police and they were able to get to the store in time to nab the thieves. A crime foiled thanks to the Merseyside Police’s new 4500-mile radius neighborhood watch program.

And soon your XBOX360, the high def networked gaming device, could be sexually gratifying. The process of stimulating another user sexually from another location through a computer network is a science known as teledildonics. And unbeknownst to Microsoft, they may have found themselves to be the unlikely participants thanks to the Xbox Live Vision Camera, which allows a user to press a button on his controller which causes the remote user’s controller to vibrate.

  1. YouTube finds the money. Anheuser Busch Films. Microsoft accepts open source?
  2. AT&T protecting your privacy? Apple settles with Creative. More battery recalls. Watch TV at work
  3. ATI swallowed. Video Skype. Zune. Google Traffic.
  4. AOL’s search "screw up." Mac’s Time Machine. SpongeBob for money.
  5. Nokia Tunes? Mylo’s Wi-Fi calls. Peeing in public.

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