Comments on: When technology tells us we have no friends

By: David Spark

David Spark — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 03:01:27 +0000

Two years ago when I was researching for this story about defriending (http://mashable.com/2008/11/25/social-network-defriending/) I learned that everyone has their own clear definition as to what each and every social network should and shouldn't be used for, and how one should handle their privacy.

And everyone's definition is so clear in their head that they're confused as to why other people don't think the same way that they do.

Your rationalization of social media is right on target for you. Just understand that not everyone else will agree with you. Accept that fact, and appreciate it.

By: Courtretort

Courtretort — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 17:21:41 +0000

Advice I gave my daughter who had voiced concerns re. Facebook friending/defriending and the invasion of one's space.

"Frankly your privacy and life would be easier just not to have Facebook and no one would be invading your space or knowing you unless you want a real friendship. Stay in touch with your real friends via email with photo attachments and have an agreement with those friends that
they are not to forward any of your emails and/or photos without your permission to anyone and are not also to publish anything you send or photos with you in them without your expressed permission.

My standard response to everyone, is, "I don't do Facebook. I want to protect my family, and moreover, myself. Also I need professional distance from students, and my husband has a security clearance." My statement is not one of moral superiority. It simply expresses why I don't put too much out there in cyberspace...potentially dangerous on many fronts...not to mention addictive. Who knows what goes on with the intimacy factor and the neural networks longterm? The jury is out on that one.

No one's feelings get hurt this way either, and the issue of having to defriend a nuisance or their defriending me just doesn't come up. I also believe in something called BOUNDARIES. Parents can inadvertently commit emotional incest by being in the middle of all their children's generation's "stuff" and also are not really "releasing their children" and/or giving them permission (at some subliminal level) to be a separate and unique life.
How can a newlywed "leave and cleave", too, with Mom, Dad, and or grandma as his Facebook pal?
Parents need to develop their own relationships in other ways.
Virtual reality is not a substitute either for face-to-face community.

By: Doug Cone aka Nullvariable

Doug Cone aka Nullvariable — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 20:09:14 +0000

Qwitter is great but you have to remember not to take things personal. There are also cool services that let you snooze people who are at a conference and tweeting a lot. I do like to keep an eye on who is leaving and when so I can be sure that I’m not driving away my followers but I don’t usually worry about it if I did I’d never get anything done or everyone else would unfollow me!

By: Joe Schmitt

Joe Schmitt — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 20:03:31 +0000

Qwitter is not as good as you think it is. It is often hours, if not days behind. And when Twitter gets slow, it gets even further behind. Qwitter isn’t telling you when someone unfollowed so much as who did and when Qwitter noticed. Unless you tweet less than once per day, the chance that one tweet it identifies has anything to do with them leaving is pretty remote.

Twitterless is more up-to-date, but only if you manually go run Update Stats yourself after you notice your follower number go down.

By: Anita Hampl

Anita Hampl — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:15:28 +0000

Agreed, Qwitter is not for the faint of heart. But once you’ve been through a decluttering (de-following) session of your own, you become a little less sensitive.

Tip: sign on to Qwitter and then do a “practice” de-following with a trusted friend, before you go live!