The guy who runs this place is not, nor has he *ever* been a comedian. He runs a comedy workshop that you *have* to attend for 8 weeks at the cost of $125. After the 8 weeks, they have a show from the class, and if you get good, then you might have a chance to mc.

That’s not comedy for comedy’s sake. It’s basically running comics through a gauntlet waiting for comedy he approves of, which might not translate to your own voice.

I also was at another club in florida, where the MC had to read 5 minutes of plugging every upcoming show imaginable, which was the most god awful part of the night. The owner was very strict about getting that information out verbatim. One night the MC messed up a line in the marketing pitch and got reamed for it, despite the fact the comic was doing his best of making it entertaining by trying to throw jokes (lord forbid!) into the commercial. I was not amused by the management…

Clean or not, as long as it’s funny and original no one should care. I’ve seen more people walk out tonight on clean corporate comedy then dirty comedy. Clean comedy isn’t always funny. Face it. And half the places that care about that has a clientele that is dirtier out in the lobby anyway.

Basically, comedy is getting watered down and there’s a lot more pressure on comedians (aspiring or working) to be a marketing person. It’s only perks if you can actually tell a joke on stage.

After playing down in FL this week, some of my ideas of modern comedy and it’s business has changed a bit….

Sorry to get a little off topic here…

WEDNESDAY OPEN MIC RULES AND REGULATIONS
There will be a show limit of ten (10) acts.
To sign up for the show, email Chris in advance or talk to Chris on the night of the show.
Acts that are present but not included in the show will be given priority inclusion in the next show.
Shows begin promptly at 9:30pm.
For stagetime, you must be at the Comeback Inn at least 30 minutes before showtime.
Windtalkers was that movie with Nicholas Cage, did anybody see it?
If you are not present at 9pm, (30 minutes before showtime) you lose your spot.
Stagetime will be determined prior to the show, based on the number of acts.
Acts will be given a signal two minutes before their stage time is up.
If you go over on your time, you will get a warning.
Two warnings equals one demerit.
Three demerits and you lose your gin ration.
Seriously though, go over time and you’ll get your time cut.
Speaking of cutting things, clip your fingernails.

CONTENT RESTRICTIONS
This will be a content controlled show, so to avoid offending the audience please refrain from mentioning;
the possible drawbacks of a progressive income tax,
things that your fellow comedians may find boring, including but not limited to;

Propecia, Enzyte, or any other consumer product marketed to aging males and meant to
capitalize on the low self esteem of the target market, The Bush Administration, Arnold Schwarzenegger,
inaccuracies in major motion picture portrayals of comic book characters and associated story arcs, the differences between two
related things, the differences between two unrelated things, happy mediums, french dressing, french banana salads,
the existence or non-existence of God, the Devil, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, philosophical determinism, codified worldviews belonging
to schizophrenics other than Zermitism, horses, alabaster, kleenex shortages, Halloween Candy, rollerskating, the internet, Shamwalla,
Shambala, Secularism in Iran, the WNBA, 2005 Term United States Supreme Court Opinions of Antonin Scalia, Central American Pine-Oak
forests, Blackish-grey Antshrikes, single parents, and your feelings.

By mentioning the following things, you waive your right to a reasonable expectation of personal safety and consent to the highest level of
battery and intentional injury permitted under the laws of the State of Wisconsin.

Your resemblence to one or more celebrities or well known fictional characters.
What it is like to have immigrant parents, with accompanying impression of said parent(s)
The Warsaw Pact, if it had been written by a woman
Viagra

They allow a small core of comics who do well and emcee for them to skip the sign-up process and just show up anytime, and I have to confess I was one of those guys for a while when I still went there. Nice for some, but not really fair.

According to their rules you will only train at our school of comedy and nowhere else? That’s absurd. And your training will only happen once a month. Even more absurd.

If that club hasn’t gone under, they will either change their rules, or go under.

But I’ve also seen a lot of unnecessary resentment and general bad vibes caused by clubs that brow-beat the local talent. I know of one club that limits open-mike comics to one slot a month (the show is weekly), but if the club finds out one of them did an open-mike at the other club across town during the three weeks the comic would otherwise be sitting on his or her ass, the club bars them. These aren’t emcees on the payroll, these are open-mikers. How does it foster talent to provide 3-6 minutes A MONTH of stage time AND ask for a loyalty oath?

Again, I see the wisdom in a few basic rules, but some places really do foster a negative atmosphere for comics by overdoing it.

Take your shock humor to the crap open mic.

This is NOT the way any other form of entertainment operates (musicians unfortunately have recently run into this as well thought).

You’ve been trained to believe that this is “normal” behavior. It’s not. There was a time we didn’t HAVE to do this.

There’s a huge dividing line between highly recommending that people invite their friends (which most comics do regardless) and REQUIRING that comics invite friends for performing.

It’s all about creating a comfortable space for performing and a place where comics want to do well for the management.

When I did comedy, there was this small bar that had a once a week comedy night. They didn’t have much money, but it was run by an older couple that treated their patrons and comedians really well. I thought it was so nice that they would purchase a small deli platter (probably $30) just for the comedians. That’s a club I wanted to perform at. I gave a much better performance. And I WANTED to invite my friends because it was such a nice atmosphere.

It’s all about how you treat people. It all comes back to you in the end. The club makes money and the comedians and the audience is happy.

It’s not a matter of getting friends to turn up…but getting them to turn up continuously as you progress.

To make a comedian responsible for their guests doesn’t seem completely unreasonable. Asking them to stay for the whole show doesn’t seem absurd either. It’s just polite. I had to leave early from an open mic once or twice and I always felt bad about it.

The minimum age requirement and two item minimum are pretty standard for comedy in general…and just seem part of the business.

As for excessive vulgarity, I think that comes down to comic style. Again, coming up in Kansas City, we always had older touring comics at the Open Mics who organized workshops before the show to kind of help ‘direct’ the younger comics. Many overly-blue Bill Hicks wannabes were cured when a pro told them that they would never work in front of them with a set like that. But I’m not sure that should be in the rules…from my own experiences I think that is better handled among the comics themselves.

As far as political views…this is just silly…open mic nights are a place for experimentation…that’s why the shows are supposed to have a pro emcee…to clean the palate of the audience after some idiot bombs doing political humor. Again, workshops prior to the show taught us the best ways to use and not use political humor.

Finally, the only overly harsh pronouncement is the no show policy. Even that isn’t overly harsh except for the twenty-four hour warning rule…but that may be the clubs attempt to drive a point home to lame brained open mikers…if you can’t make it, let us know. Not being a local, I don’t know how strictly it’s enforced. We had a ssimilar rule about no shows…however it was only enforced for the guys that would sign up every week, but only show about one out of five.